You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
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he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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