this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
