Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
People in love make me want to vomit
Barsexuality is the new black.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
