What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
