so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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