Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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