my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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