remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
