I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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