found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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