totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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