He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
