I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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