I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
