I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
