I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have fence marks all over my body
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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