champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
