i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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