Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
