just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
