it was like his penis was on wheels.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
