I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
