I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
