WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
