It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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