hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize