Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i dont even know how to be here
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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