He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
