the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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