I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
