We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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