i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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