I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
