Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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