dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
