i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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