I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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