How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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