Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize