I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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