So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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