carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
