waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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