plz talk dirty to me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
not ubering you a puppy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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