i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
