someone threw a dead crab at me
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
