i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
