Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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