Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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