You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
