Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
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I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
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Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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