.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
