Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
