So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
