so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize
