I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
