There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
