My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
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and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.