he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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