During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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