Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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