Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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