allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
