I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
