Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
