Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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