whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
