I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
