That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
