Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
