i jhust puked up my retainher.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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