Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
